


Bozo and the Stranger

by marvcltrash



Category: X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: College AU, M/M, Modern AU, Texting, Wrong Number AU, bobby drake is my son and needed to be Included, liberal use of ages, liberal use of question marks, liberal use of sarcasm, some characters are aged up or down
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 12:42:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9727352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marvcltrash/pseuds/marvcltrash
Summary: October 8, 2016[10:03 p.m.]: Hey - did you get the hw for Xavier?[10:06 p.m.]: So u r just gonna leave me on read?In which Alex Summers texts the wrong number and maybe... doesn't regret it?





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [IceIceStevie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IceIceStevie/gifts).



> Happy Valentine's Day and happy fucking birthday, Val. I know this isn't technically for your birthday, but I'm celebrating it anyway, babe. Try and stop me.

Key: 

_ Alex _

Hank

**Bobby**

_ Armando _

  


October 8, 2016 

_ [10:03 p.m.]: Hey - did you get the hw for Xavier?  _

_ [10:06 p.m.]: So u r just gonna leave me on read? _

[10:06 p.m.]: I believe you have the wrong number.

_ [10:06 p.m.]: You believe so? You can’t just tell me I’m wrong?  _

_ [10:07 p.m.]: You’re leaving me on read again, believer _

[10:07 p.m.]: Are you normally this rude to strangers? 

_ [10:08 p.m.]: You were rude first, Bozo.  _

_ [10:09 p.m.]: Okay, so I shouldn’t have called you Bozo. I’m not sayin sorry tho.  _

[10:10 p.m.]: Yeah, who’s rude now?

_ [10:11 p.m.]: No longer sorry for calling you Bozo.  _

[10:12 p.m.]: You didn’t apologize in the first place. 

_ [10:12 p.m.]:  _ _ Nitpicking isn’t nice, stranger.  _

_ [10:12 p.m.]: Why are you still texting me?  _

[10:13 p.m.]: Because you keep replying. 

_ [10:14 p.m.]:  _ _ You that strapped for attention, bozo? _

_ [10:14 p.m.]: Seems a little desperate  _

[10:15 p.m.]: I’d like to take this time to provide that you are also still texting me.

_ [10:16 p.m.]: Okay, what’s with the periods?  _

_ [10:16 p.m.]: It makes me think you’re mad  _

[10:17 p.m.]: It’s just how I text.

[10:17 p.m.]: It makes me anxious when other people do it too.

_ [10:18 p.m.]: Then why do you do it? _

[10:18 p.m.]: It makes me anxious when I don’t. 

_ [10:19 p.m.]: A lot of things make you anxious, don’t they, Bozo?  _

[10:20 p.m.]: It could be the anxiety. 

_ [10:21 p.m.]: Is that a joke?  _

_ [10:21 p.m.]: That’s a joke isn’t it  _

_ [10:21 p.m.]: Bozo’s got jokes  _

[10:22 p.m.]: I guess I do. 

_ [10:22 p.m.]: Did you just agree to being called Bozo?  _

_ [10:22 p.m.]: I’m saving your number as Bozo _

_ [10:23 p.m.]: Unless I shouldn’t save your number?  _

[10:24 p.m.]: You can. 

[10:24 p.m.]: I’m not telling you my name though. 

[10:25 p.m.]: I still don’t actually know you. 

_ [10:26 p.m.]: Did you really just type out the whole word “though”?  _

_ [10:26 p.m.]: Get with the times, Gramps  _

_ [10:27 p.m.]: It’s “tho” now _

[10:28 p.m.]: Get off my lawn. 

_ [10:29 p.m.]: Bozo’s got jokes! _

[10:30 p.m.]: It’s like almost 11. 

[10:30 p.m.]: I think it’s time for bed. 

_ [10:31 p.m.]: 1, it’s literally 10:30  _

_ [10:31 p.m.]: 2, you really are a grandfather  _

_ [10:31 p.m.]: Assuming you’re a dude  _

_ [10:32 p.m.]: I shouldn’t assume shit, fuck  _

[10:33 p.m.]: I’m a dude. 

[10:34 p.m.]: Are you? 

_ [10:35 p.m.]: Yeah _

_ [10:35 p.m.]: Anyway, time for bed, Grandpa _

[10:36 p.m.]: Goodnight, Stranger.

_ [10:37 p.m.]: Night, Bozo  _

  


October 9, 2016 

_ [6:59 a.m.]: Morning Bozo _

[7:00 a.m.]: Morning, stranger. 

_ [7:02 a.m.]: It’s ass o’clock in the morning _

_ [7:03 a.m.]: I honestly wasn’t expecting to get a reply until later in the day _

[7:05 a.m.]: If it’s ass o’clock in the morning, why are you already awake?

_ [7:06 a.m.]: It’s called insomnia _

_ [7:06 a.m.]: Everybody and their mother thinks they have it  _

_ [7:07 a.m.]: But like… actually having it is a nightmare _

[7:08 a.m.]: Was that a joke?

[7:08 a.m.]: Stranger’s got jokes. 

_ [7:10 a.m.]: Don’t misquote me to me.  _

_ [7:10 a.m.]: Honestly  _

_ [7:10 a.m.]: Rude  _

[7:12 a.m.]: I wish there were read receipts for whether or not someone has read that you’ve read their message. 

_ [7:13 a.m.]: Need to know if someone can see you being petty, Bozo?  _

[7:14 a.m.]: Need to know if someone is getting petty about thinking I’m being petty, morelike _. _

_ [7:15 a.m.]: But are you being petty in the first place, Bozo? _

_ [7:15 a.m.]: I bet you are - you see like a petty person  _

[7:17 a.m.]: I seem petty, but you’re the one who double texted some random number because you thought they left you on read. 

_ [7:18 a.m.]: Okay, wow, Bozo, wreck me, okay  _

[7:20 a.m.]: It is an honor and a privilege. 

_ [7:22 a.m.]: Don’t sass me, sir  _

[7:24 a.m.]: Make me.

_[7:26 a.m.]:_ _And now you’re a sassy child? Unbelievable. That’s usually my gig_

[7:27 a.m.]:  I have a class in 34 minutes. 

_[7:28 a.m.]:_ _Gross_

[7:29 a.m.]:  I am of the same opinion of the time. 

[7:29 a.m.]:  But the class is rather interesting. 

_[7:30 a.m.]:_ _Okay, nerd_

_[7:30 a.m.]:_ _Do I need to stop texting you when you have classes?_

_[7:31 a.m.]:_ _Because I can_

[7:31 a.m.]:  That’s probably for the best. 

[7:31 a.m.]:  Do you have classes? 

[7:32 a.m.]:  Because I should stop texting you when you’re in class/work too. 

_[7:33 a.m.]:_ _I do have classes_

_[7:33 a.m.]:_ _But you can text me thru those_

_[7:34 a.m.]:_ _I’m good at multi-tasking_

[7:36 a.m.]:  Not going to be the reason you fail, Stranger. 

_[7:36 a.m.]:_ _Okay so I’ve been assuming_

_[7:37 a.m.]:_ _But you’re in college, right?_

[7:39 a.m.]:  Yes. 

[7:39 a.m.]:  I’m a junior. 

_[7:41 a.m.]:_ _Funny_

_[7:41 a.m.]:_ _Me too_

_[7:43 a.m.]:_ _Go to class, Bozo_

[7:45 a.m.]:  Make me. 

_[7:46 a.m.]:_ _You’re going anyway, nerd_

[7:48 a.m.]:  Class is starting in a minute. 

[7: 48 a.m.]: He always starts early.

[7:48 a.m.]:  I’ll text you after. 

_[7:50 a.m.]:_ _Do good things, I guess, Bozo_

  


October 9, 2016 

**[7:50 a.m.]: Who are ya textin?**

[7:51 a.m.]: Raven. 

**[7:51 a.m.]: Raven was at a Kappa Psi party last night**

**[7:52 a.m.]: No way she’s awake yet**

**[7:52 a.m.]: Who are you really texting?**

**[7:53 a.m.]: Did you meet someone?**

[7:54 a.m.]: Okay so I didn’t want to say I’m texting my Mom.

[7:54 a.m.]: You happy, Bobby? 

**[7:55 a.m.]: You know you can tell me that stuff, Hank**

[7:55 a.m.]: Class is starting. 

  
  
  


October 9, 2016 

[9:15 a.m.]: Out of class. 

_ [9:17 a.m.]: And how was it?  _

_ [9:18 a.m.]: Sounds like it would suck  _

_ [9:18 a.m.]: All eight ams suck  _

[9:19 a.m.]: It didn’t entirely suck. 

[9:20 a.m.]: I’d just rather talk about anything else. 

_ [9:21 a.m.]: Do you ever just _

_ [9:21 a.m.]: Watch a movie and like things happen  _

[9:21 a.m.]: Well things generally happen in movies.

_ [9:22 a.m.]: Okay I wasn’t fucking done fucking rude  _

_ [9:22 a.m.]: But anyway, things happen and you’re like _

_ [9:23 a.m.]: That’s not how physics fucking works but thanks for trying  _

[9:25 a.m.]:This is the first thing you’ve ever said that I relate to on a personal level.

_ [9:25 a.m.]: #relatable  _

[9:26 a.m.]: You see, this is why I never relate to you.

_ [9:25 a.m.]: Wait I said a lot of cuss words  _

_ [9:25 a.m.]: You’re comfortable w that, right?  _

[9:26 a.m.]: I could not be friends with who I am friends with and not be. 

_ [9:28 a.m.]: A simple yes or no would have done  _

[9:28 a.m.]: Debatable. 

_ [9:29 a.m.]: The real reason why you don’t relate is because you’re a giant dork  _

[9:30 a.m.]: Wow. 

[9:30 a.m.]: I’m wounded. 

[9:31 a.m.]: No one has ever insulted me like this. 

_ [9:33 a.m.]: Okay, wow, Bozo  _

_ [9:33 a.m.]: A deadpan you can hear over text _

[9:34 a.m.]: You’ll live. 

  


October 11, 2016. 

_ [12:34 p.m.]: Where did you grow up? _

_ [12:34 p.m.]: Do you have any pets? _

_ [12:34 p.m.]: Do you have any siblings? _

_ [12:34 p.m.]: Do you know what your name means? _

_ [12:35 p.m.]: What type of phone do you have? _

_ [12:35 p.m.]: What did you do this past weekend? _

_ [12:35 p.m.]: What are your plans for this weekend? _

_ [12:35 p.m.]: What do you like to do in your spare time? _

_ [12:36 p.m.]: What is the first thing you do when you wake up? _

_ [12:36 p.m.]: What is the last thing you do before you go to sleep? _

_ [12:36 p.m.]: What is your middle name? _

_ [12:36 p.m.]: What was the last thing you purchased? _

_ [12:37 p.m.]: What is your favorite holiday? _

_ [12:37 p.m.]: What is your favorite day of the week? _

_ [12:37 p.m.]: If you could meet anyone in history, who would it be? _

_ [12:37 p.m.]: What do you like to do to relax? _

_ [12:38 p.m.]: Are you a saver or a spender? _

_ [12:38 p.m.]: Do you play any instruments? _

[12:39 p.m.]: I put my phone down for five minutes. 

[12:39 p.m.]: What is this? 

_ [12:40 p.m.]: I looked up a list of icebreakers  _

_ [12:40 p.m.]: It looked fun  _

[12:41 p.m.]: I grew up in Illinois. 

[12:41 p.m.]: I used to have a dog. 

[12:41 p.m.]: I’m an only child. 

[12:42 p.m.]: It means ruler of the home. 

[12:42 p.m.]: Iphone. 

[12:42 p.m.]: Study and movie night with Raven.

[12:43 p.m.]: Raven is dragging me clubbing. 

[12:43 p.m.]: Read and hang out with friends. 

[12:43 p.m.]: Think about my plans for the day. 

[12:44 p.m.]: Think about my plans for tomorrow. 

[12:44 p.m.]: Philip.

[12:44 p.m.]: Gum. 

[12:44 p.m.]: Halloween.

[12:44 p.m.]: Sunday.

[12:45 p.m.]: John Locke or Charles Darwin. 

[12:45 p.m.]: Read. 

[12:45 p.m.]: Saver. 

[12:45 p.m.]: Piano and violin. 

[12:46 p.m.]: Same for you. 

_ [12:47 p.m.]: Wow, Bozo _

_ [12:47 p.m.]: I was expecting you to just pick one or two _

[12:48 p.m.]: You have to answer too, Stranger. 

_ [12:49 p.m.]: Okay  _

_ [12:49 p.m.]: I grew up in Hawaii  _

_ [12:49 p.m.]: I used to have two cats _

_ [12:49 p.m.]: I have a little brother _

_ [12:50 p.m.]: Defender of men _

_ [12:50 p.m.]: Iphone  _

_ [12:50 p.m.]: Something with Armando, but it’s not coming to me right now _

_ [12:50 p.m.]: Frat party _

_ [12:51 p.m.]: Study and hang out with friends _

_ [12:51 p.m.]: Get dressed because I have inevitably overslept _

_ [12:52 p.m.]: Lay out my clothes for tomorrow _

_ [12:52 p.m.]: I don’t have a middle name _

_ [12:52 p.m.]: Gum too  _

_ [12:52 p.m.]: Hanukkah _

_ [12:53 p.m.]: Saturday  _

_ [12:53 p.m.]: King Louis XIV _

_ [12:53 p.m.]: Listen to music _

_ [12:53 p.m.]: Both _

_ [12:54 p.m.]: Guitar _

_ [12:54 p.m.]: That’s all, right? That better be all  _

[12:55 p.m.]: That’s all. 

[12:55 p.m.]: Why Louis XIV? 

_ [12:56 p.m.]: So I could punch him in the face _   
  


October 13, 2016. 

_ [5:43 p.m.]: Armando is dragging me to some poetry reading for one of his friends  _

_ [5:43 p.m.]: #killme _

[5:45 p.m.]: Third time you’ve mentioned Armando, Stranger. 

[5:45 p.m.]: Still haven’t explained who he is. 

[5:45 p.m.]: Brother? Friend? Boyfriend? 

_ [5:46 p.m.]: The brother I mentioned is named Scott _

_ [5:46 p.m.]: Armando is my best friend _

_ [5:47 p.m.]: I’m currently boyfriend-less _

[5:48 p.m.]: Why are you going to a poetry reading? 

_ [5:49 p.m.]: One of Armando’s friends thinks she’s Sylvia Plath?  _

_ [5:49 p.m.]: Beats the hell out of me _

[5:50 p.m.]: Plath didn’t do spoken word. 

_ [5:51 p.m.]: Noah Fence, Bozo  _

_ [5:51 p.m.]: But I don’t fucking care _

[5:52 p.m.]: Wow. 

[5:52 p.m.]: You can’t just say “No offense” like a normal person. 

[5:52 p.m.]: Everything you say has to look like a meme. 

_ [5:53 p.m.]: Surprised you know what a meme is, Grandpa.  _

[5:54 p.m.]: Eat your vegetables. 

_ [5:54 p.m.]: Eat my ass.  _

  


October 15, 2016. 

_ [10:05 p.m.]: Some dudebro from Theta Mega Fuckboy just asked if he could tap this ass.  _

_ [10:05 p.m.]: I didn’t know fratboys were out now.  _

_ [10:05 p.m.]: I almost wish they weren’t so they wouldn’t fucking hit on nonsexual people.  _

[10:07 p.m.]: Yikes, I apologize for your luck. 

[10:07 p.m.]: If you don’t mind my asking… 

[10:07 p.m.]: What does nonsexual mean? 

_ [10:09 p.m.]: I’m demisexual, bozo.  _

[10:10 p.m.]: I’m not good with words. 

[10:10 p.m.]: Raven has told me about this before.

[10:10 p.m.]: But… what does demisexual mean? 

_[10:12 p.m.]:_ _No sexual attraction until deep emotional connection._

[10:13 p.m.]: Oh! One of our friends is demisexual.

[10:13 p.m.]: Is it like bad I can’t remember which one?

[10:14 p.m.]: All of us are queer. 

_[10:15 p.m.]:_ _I guess it’s not bad, per se_

_[10:15 p.m.]:_ _Just like… as long as you remember who is in the community_

[10:17 p.m.]: All of us. 

[10:17 p.m.]: We don’t even have a token straight friend. 

_[10:20 p.m.]:_ _Incredible_

_[10:20 p.m.]:_ _Goals_

_ [10:25 p.m.]: Question  _

[10:25 p.m.]: Answer. 

_ [10:25 p.m.]: Don’t be a bozo, Bozo  _

_ [10:25 p.m.]: I wasn’t done _

_ [10:26 p.m.]: I was wondering  _

_ [10:26 p.m.]: Do we know each other well enough to know names yet?  _

_ [10:26 p.m.]: Bc calling you Bozo in my head is getting a little weird  _

_ [10:30 p.m.]: Or not  _

_ [10:30 p.m.]: We don’t have to do that  _

[10:31 p.m.]: Sorry I was changing shirts. 

[10:31 p.m.]: My friend is dragging me clubbing. 

[10:31 p.m.]: My name is Hank. 

[10:31 p.m.]: Yours? 

_ [10:32 p.m.]: Alex  _

_ [10:32 p.m.]: I’ve gotta go now, frat party with Armando _

[10:33 p.m.]: Have fun, Alex. 

  


October 15, 2016. 

_ [10:28 p.m.]: Dude what are you angsting about _

_ [10:28 p.m.]: Don’t think I don’t see you just bc it’s dark in here  _

_ [10:29 p.m.]: You remember that guy I’m texting?  _

_ [10:29 p.m.]: Random possible serial killer?  _

_ [10:29 p.m.]: Yeah him  _

_ [10:30 p.m.]: I just suggested we should exchange names  _

_ [10:30 p.m.]: And he isn’t fucking answering  _

_ [10:30 p.m.]: Shit dude  _

_ [10:30 p.m.]: Did he leave you on read?  _

_ [10:31 p.m.]: No  _

_ [10:31 p.m.]: Oh god he’s typing  _

_ [10:31 p.m.]: he was changing shirts  _

_ [10:31 p.m.]: His name is Hank  _

_ [10:32 p.m.]: Name achieved  _

_ [10:32 p.m.]: Nice  _

_ [10:32 p.m.]: Can you party now?  _

_ [10:32 p.m.]: Hell yeah  _

  


October 16, 2016. 

_ [11:36 a.m.]: Bozo I have a hangover _

_ [11:36 a.m.]: Fix it  _

[11:38 a.m.]: Do all ailments make you dramatic, or just hangovers? 

[11:38 a.m.]: Eat something with a lot of grease and drink something acidic. 

[11:38 a.m.]: Also, take four ibuprofen. 

_ [11:39 a.m.]: Damn Bozo I usually only take two  _

[11:40 a.m.]: Do you wanna get rid of your hangover? 

[11:40 a.m.]: Also I thought we exchanged names so you wouldn’t call me Bozo anymore. 

_ [11:41 a.m.]: I said I’d stop calling you Bozo /in my head/  _

_ [11:41 a.m.]: Not via text  _

[11:42 a.m.]: Wow. 

[11:42 a.m.]: I’m so impressed with your infallible logic. 

_ [11:44 a.m.]: No snark this early in the morning  _

_ [11:44 a.m.]: Don’t sass me, young man  _

[11:45 a.m.]: We are literally fifteen minutes away from midday. 

[11:45 a.m.]: It is not early in the morning. 

_ [11:46 a.m.]: Don’t sass me, young man  _

[11:47 a.m.]: Make me

_ [11:48 a.m.]: Grow up, Hank  _

[11:48 a.m.]: Please view my previous message for response. 

_ [11:50 a.m.]: Too early for words like previous  _

_ [11:50 a.m.]: You big fuckin nerd  _

[11:51 a.m.]: Wow. 

[11:51 a.m.]: I’m wounded. 

[11:51 a.m.]: No one has ever insulted me like this. 

_ [11:52 a.m.]: No snark this early in the morning  _

_ [11:52 a.m.]: It’s still early for me, Bozo  _

[11:53 a.m.]: You’re just a baby, Alex. 

[11:53 a.m.]: Have you even gotten out of bed to do what I said? 

_ [11:54 a.m.]: …  _

[11:54 a.m.]: So no? 

_ [11:55 a.m.]: I’m getting up  _

_ [12:00 p.m.]: Ok it took me five minutes, but I’m up  _

[12:01 p.m.]: I’m proud of you. 

_ [12:01 p.m.]: Just the period is enough to make it look sarcastic  _

[12:02 p.m.]: Good. 

_ [12:03 p.m.]: Wow, Hank  _

_ [12:03 p.m.]: I’m hurt _

_ [12:04 p.m.]: What are you doing today, Bozo?  _

[12:05 p.m.]: Crying? 

[12:05 p.m.]: Not crying. 

[12:05 p.m.]: Studying with Bobby probably. 

_ [12:07 p.m.]: Bobby _

_ [12:07 p.m.]: Brother? Friend? Boyfriend?  _

[12:08 p.m.]: We’ve discussed my lack of siblings. 

[12:08 p.m.]: Bobby is my friend. 

[12:08 p.m.]: I am currently boyfriend-less.

[12:08 p.m.]: And girlfriend-less.

[12:09 p.m.]: Bobby’s in my gen and behavior class. 

_ [12:10 p.m.]: The eight am?  _

[12:11 p.m.]: The eight am. 

_ [12:11 p.m.]: Gross  _

[12:12 p.m.]: Not inherently. 

_ [12:13 p.m.]: Inherently, Hank  _

_ [12:13 p.m.]: It’s gross _

**Author's Note:**

> More chapter to come. Was supposed to be a Valentine's one shot, but I'm Garbage.   
> Also, it wouldn't let me preview, so lmk if anything's fucked up.


End file.
